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Published: October 1, 2005
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EmailWhen kids hit a certain age, trick-or-treating isn't a good option on Halloween. For one thing, many communities limit candy-begging outings to kids 12 and under. Even if tweens and teens are still legal, they often feel too old and embarrassed to be out in costume with the little kids.
Either way, parents can shake off creepy visions of children wandering dark streets with their friends, egging houses, smashing pumpkins and generally wreaking havoc. According to parenting experts and moms and dads of teenagers, there are plenty of fun ways to involve older kids in the holiday with a little advanced planning.
Note to teenagers: Many of the ideas even pass as — no kidding — cool.
Children often begin losing interest in trick-or-treating between the ages of 11 and 13, said Sam Fabian, a parent educator at Children's Hospital of the King's Daughters in Norfolk and also the mother of 12- and 13-year-old boys.
“This is a tough age, because they are torn with what is cool or not,” Fabian said. “What I think is important is to find a fit for them. For example, have them design how to give out the candy — decorate the porch, have a pumpkin lit outside or use dry ice to set an ominous atmosphere. Others might make a fun Halloween dinner. Let them be creative.”
Many teens actually are happy to take younger siblings or neighbors trick-or-treating (especially if they get a share of the sugary loot). Others would rather stay home and be in charge of buying and handing out treats, an assignment that can include picking scary music, decorating with skeletons, cobwebs and lanterns, offering face-painting or even setting up an entire haunted yard.
Lou Lafrenaye of York County, the father of two boys who made it safely through the teenage Halloween years, remembers one son always dressed up as a somewhat unfriendly scarecrow to hand out candy on the porch. “He liked to scare the adults and older kids,” Lafrenaye said of Jon, now 21.
Another option is to host a party, keeping older kids involved in the planning. While parents might think games such as pumpkin-pie-eating contests, candy-corn-guessing challenges and bobbing for apples are perfect, many teenagers might prefer to rent a bunch of scary movies — the original Halloween and The Exorcist are popular choices — or simply hang out, play music and eat junk food (gummy worms, perhaps?).
When it comes to costume parties, time-themed bashes seem to be especially appealing to older kids, said Judi Fields, owner of Judi's Costume Shop in Newport News. Among her teenage customers, popular rental choices include gothic gear and clothing from the medieval era (corseted gowns, capes and ruffled shirts), the 1920s and the 1970s. Other teens like to dress up as a favorite movie character, Fields said.
“They might be too old for trick-or-treating,” she said, “but it's still fun for them to dress up, especially if all their friends are doing it. I rent to people of all ages, not just the young ones.”
Parents who aren't up for party-hosting duties can turn to community organizations that plan Fright Night events to keep older kids occupied. A number of nonprofits need volunteers to help at fundraising Halloween spook houses and pumpkin patches. Nursing homes, senior centers and shelters for abused children often welcome teenagers who want to visit in costume and deliver goodies, sing songs and read spooky stories.
Many churches and schools also host seasonally themed “harvest” parties to celebrate the fall while avoiding the ghoulish aspects of Halloween. Eric and Freda Steward of York County — who have always downplayed the darker side of the holiday in their home — send their three older children to lend a hand at their church's Hallelujah party.
“They run the games and help the little ones go from game to game,” Eric Steward said. “It keeps them busy and gives them a sense of responsibility. It also keeps them from getting into trouble.”
Creating family Halloween traditions also can keep kids involved in trouble-free fun, Fabian said. For example, her husband takes her kids shopping for dry ice and helps them create an eerie porch display. One recent year, one of her sons worked hard to time the “smoke” rising from the pan exactly to when trick-or-treaters approached the house. “Then he engaged the kids by teaching them about dry ice,” Fabian said.
Whatever activities a family chooses, experts say, clear ground rules are important even for older teens. For kids who go out, those include setting curfews, limiting the streets a child can visit, requiring reflective clothing after dark and reviewing safety measures such as carrying flashlights, avoiding strangers and staying in groups. They also should call home on a regular basis, using their cell phone or prepaid calling cards.
“It has a lot to do with the relationship you have with your teen and the trust level that exists,” Fabian said. “That will help parents with decisions on how or what their child can and cannot do.”
A final note to teenagers: If you do decide to join the trick-or-treating crowd, don't show up on people's doorsteps without any kind of costume and expect the big candy handouts. That's just not cool at all.
