Published: September 9, 2005
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EmailHomeschooled for her elementary and middle school years, Kara didn't need to raise her hand to talk. She didn't have to navigate long hallways with hundreds of students or adjust to new teachers. Her work focused more on discussion than timed tests, and her flexible schedule allowed for days off as long as she made up the time another day.
Phoebus High School in Hampton was a different world. But even though Kara had lots of butterflies in her stomach when she first walked through the door with her older sister Rebekah, then a senior, she made the switch without a problem.
“I was really nervous at the beginning and very glad that my sister was there,” said Kara, now 17 and a Phoebus graduate. “It was a big change, but it actually wasn't too huge an adjustment once I got into it. I think you just have to be outgoing and go up to people like, ‘Hi, I'm Kara, I was homeschooled and now I'm here.' Don't be scared of showing where you come from.”
Every year in Hampton Roads, a small number of children make the leap from homeschooling to a traditional classroom setting, most commonly at the start of middle or high school. While most do just fine, teachers and guidance counselors say the transition can be a bit bumpy without some advance preparation.
“It has to be somewhat of a culture shock,” said Ivy Lee, coordinator of school social work services for the Hampton school system, where 280 of roughly 23,000 students are homeschooled. “So before school starts, you want to do everything you can to get the student comfortable with what's coming.”
First things first, though: Homeschooled students want to destroy the myth that they do nothing but sit alone at the kitchen table. Instead, almost all are active in community organizations such as Girl Scouts, sports teams and church groups. They study, play and go on field trips with kids from their neighborhood and other homeschooling families. In other words, they have plenty of social experience.
“Probably the biggest myth of home-schooling is that these students aren't prepared to interact with others,” said Ann Cameron Siegal, author of several articles on homeschooling and a volunteer with the Organization of Virginia Homeschoolers (go to www.vahomeschoolers.org or call 1-866-513-6173 for information). “Usually, these are very well-rounded kids,” Siegal said.
While homeschooling is still relatively uncommon, it is a growing practice in Virginia and across the country. Statewide, numbers have increased by roughly 500 students a year since 2000, according to statistics from the Virginia Department of Education. During the past academic year, 17,448 children stayed home for classes. The nationwide total is approaching one million — roughly 2 percent of all school-aged children.
Parents decide to homeschool for many reasons, ranging from the philosophical to the religious to the practical. Some like the idea of tailoring a curriculum to each child's personality, interests and skills. Some worry about crowded classrooms, peer pressure or too many tests. Others have children who are sick or academically delayed. Still others simply want more flexibility for family time and vacations, especially if they work unconventional hours.
“Mainly, I want the time with her,” said Anna Kutchner of Hampton, who is considering homeschooling her 7-year-old daughter, Karina, next year. “I don't like sending her off to school to be with people who — and this is not a put-down to teachers or anyone — I don't know very much about.”
Kutchner, a homemaker and recent transplant from Texas, does have concerns about her only child keeping pace with other kids. But other homeschooling parents have advised her that Karina would be fine — even ahead of the curve — if she had a wide range of social and academic experiences in and out of her home.
“I'm leaning toward giving it a try and looking at private schools for later,” she said, watching her daughter race around with a new friend at a local playground.
Virginia law requires schooling for all children 5 and older (although parents can delay kindergarten if they feel a child isn't ready). In order to homeschool, parents must notify their local school district and file paperwork such as curriculum summaries and, in most cases, copies of a college diploma or teaching certificate.
Some children go in and out of homeschooling several times as they grow up, Siegal said. Overall, though, elementary school is by far the most popular time for the practice. Last year in Virginia, 8,711 students stayed home for kindergarten through fifth grade, compared to 4,000 for middle school and 4,500 for high school.
Some kids want to go to school with their friends as they get older. At the same time, parents might want to go back to work or don't feel qualified to teach advanced subjects such as calculus or literature. Many also worry about lining up all of the requirements for college admission.
Families who have made the change say the hardest part is adjusting to a more structured setting. At school, classes, lunchtime and vacation all last a certain amount of time. Grabbing a quick snack in the middle of class isn't an option. Tests and quizzes tend to be more frequent.
“At home, we can explore any direction we want to go in,” said Deborah Phillips, who homeschooled her 16-year-old daughter, Krystina Gall, for part of the last school year for health reasons. “Krystina can always get my attention because I'm set up to deal with her as an individual, not one part of a group. I'm not criticizing the schools, but they just are not set up to do that.”
Krystina, a rising junior in Hampton, experienced both worlds by staying in two school classes while homeschooling. Away from home, she had to figure out how to get her teachers' attention without seeming too demanding. Phillips told her to be helpful instead, such as volunteering to pass out papers or take attendance.
For Kara Spence, the biggest hurdles at Phoebus were timed exams — her standardized test scores were lower than her 4.18 grade point average would have predicted — and not being able to go by her own schedule.
“Sometimes I'd feel like we were wasting time and waiting around, and I got annoyed,” said Kara, who had fit in church activities, music lessons, Girl Scouts and competitive swimming as a homeschooler. “I felt like I had less time for everything.” But, she added, “It all turned out great.”
Parents who want the same result for their children need to be organized from the start, said Denise White, coordinator of student services for Virginia Beach public schools. To determine grade placement and credits, schools look at records such as lists of books read, projects completed and tests taken. Written references from anyone who has worked with a child also can help.
“Always be ready to meet with a guidance counselor,” White said. “Maintain a detailed list of courses the student has taken. Check with your local school division to find out how many hours they require to give credit in a course and then document every hour you spend on them. Keep your child's papers and tests.”
Parents also can find Standards of Learning practice tests on the Internet to help measure a child's progress. Most homeschoolers are at least on pace with school students, White said. About 40 homeschooled students come into her school system every year, and only a handful can't manage and reapply for homeschooling.
Even so, the adjustment can take a few weeks, said Mary Jo Bracken, a guidance counselor at Toano Middle School in James City County.
“Kids are really resilient, but sometimes the behavior around them is very different from what they've known,” Bracken said. “Some get shy and retreat, some are very vocal and say what they don't like and some will begin to act out. But still, most come back to school the next year, which I think says a lot.”
To better prepare a child for school (note: many of these tips are good for any child):
- Consider the timing. Sixth and ninth grade are popular starting points because many students will be new to a school. Kara Spence bonded with her best friend, a private school transfer, on the second day of their freshman year. Eighth grade is another common entry point so that kids can get a year of classroom experience before high school.
- Enroll early. Leave time to take children on tours of the building and introduce them to as many teachers as possible. “If possible, visit when school is still in session in the spring,” Bracken said. “If the school permits, they even might be able to follow a friend around for a day.”
- Prepare kids for life at school. Before classes start, talk to the guidance counselor about any questions or concerns. Get a copy of the school's code of conduct and go through it with children (this also is a good time to talk about profanity, drugs and other negative behavior they might encounter).
- Think practically. Students need to master tasks such as raising their hands, taking fast notes, sitting for blocks of time and meeting strict deadlines. At home, have kids take notes while listening to books on tape and set up 45-minute classes without breaks. “Just bathroom trips and maybe some water,” White said.
- Expose children to diversity and larger group settings. “You don't want your kids to be exposed to just people from your neighborhood or church,” Lee said, “because that's not how the real world looks.” She suggests taking kids to libraries outside their communities and joining other families for trips to cultural fairs, museums and parks.
- Check into flexible education options. A growing number of schools offer part-time access to homeschoolers on a space-available basis. Krystina Gall, for example, went to high school three days a week last year, from 11:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m, for math and science courses. “If you're worried about how a child will adjust, this can be a great way to see how they might do,” Lee said.
But the most important step of all, everyone agrees, is the rule that all parents should follow: Raise children to have firm moral standards. “I've told my daughters to stand on their own convictions, no matter what they run into,” said Dalane Spence, Kara Spence's mother. “They shouldn't compromise their standards at school or anywhere else.” Kara will draw on that advice — and her many different learning experiences — this fall as she heads off to Longwood University on a golf and academic scholarship. “I feel lucky that I got to do both types of school,” she said. “I feel like it's given me a lot of great perspectives.”
